While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
