I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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