it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
