Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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