Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
