I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
