took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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