I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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