they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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