oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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