ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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