He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
