I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
