i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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