so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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