In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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