Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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