i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
