True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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