fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
