Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I wish I only lived at night.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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