i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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