im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
