i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
