My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize