This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
