if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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