I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
