what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
