I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
