operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
