I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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