honey bunches of taint.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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