After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
