i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
