If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
