So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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