I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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