we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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