he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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