All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
