I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
