Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
