So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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