I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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