Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
