my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
