Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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