we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We're not piercing ourselves today.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
