Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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