As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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