Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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