He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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