Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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