it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
