Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
