the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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