I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
