the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
