Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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