you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
