Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
