I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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