dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Randomize
