I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We need to get me chipped asap
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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